Once again, our IR colleagues have demonstrated their wittiness, topicality, and ability to bust a rhyme. We received 22 splendid entries in this year’s limerick contest. Judging from the subject matter covered, assessment, external reporting, and surveys are very much on our minds these days. We loved all the entries, but, ultimately, our judges arrived at the following slate of medal winners:

The Gold Medal goes to Sheila Eder, Director of Institutional Research at University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey (edersh@umdnj.edu) for this limerick:

There once was a dashboard so bright.
Those red and green arrows delight.
With no downward trend
And bar charts without end
The measures were just “out of sight!”

Our Silver Medal goes to Kyle Sweitzer, Data Resource Analyst at Michigan State University (kvs@msu.edu) for penning:

We’re here to fulfill their request …
The media, Feds, and the rest.
Mess up and we’re cursed,
Sanctions at worst,
Or a jump in the rankings at best!

Our Bronze Medal winner is Amanda Udis-Kessler, Director of Institutional Research and Planning at Colorado College (audiskessler@coloradocollege.edu) for this limerick:

I love helping people assess.
When they get it, it makes me go, “Yes!”
(And I have to confess
It’s the way I digress
From regression and all of its stress.)

And Honorable Mentions go to:

Jon Suttles, Director of Institutional Research at Freed Hardeman University (jsuttles@fhu.edu) for:

How People Feel About Surveys

I need a survey real fast
About something obscure from the past.
What’s this on my desk?
A survey? Grotesque!
I’ll place it right into the trash!

Jim Posey, Director of Institutional Research and Planning at University of Washington Tacoma (jposey@u.washington.edu) for:

Data Request

There are some data I need
Of course with urgency and speed!
One hour from now is fine
With table, chart, trend line.
Great thanks and bless you indeed!

And Kyle Sweitzer also receives an Honorable Mention for this submission:

We split research dollars with ease,
And dividing a course is a breeze,
But it wouldn’t be prudent
To cut up a student,
So we count heads and not FTE’s.